Lumiere's Christmas Disaster
by the wise old owl
Summary: It is Christmas Eve at the Beast's castle. When Lumiere puts himself in charge of the feast, things don't go quite as he had planned.


It was Christmas Eve. Everyone at the castle was getting ready for the upcoming holiday and the dinner that was to be hosted that night. The residents at the castle finally had a guest; it had been years since anyone had been at to the fortress, and although she wasn't technically a guest (she was a prisoner, in all reality), the servants at the castle were obsessed with making her have the time of her life, so that maybe - just maybe - she would fall in love with their master and break the curse that was put upon them. And with Christmas being the biggest holiday of all, the feast had to be grand and perfect.

"Hey, Chapeau, you missed a spot," Lumière told the hat rack, who was busy washing the dishes for tonight. The candelabrum picked up a dinner plate and showed it to Chapeau, who nodded and took the dish from Lumière.

Lumière was currently in the kitchen, overseeing the work of all the servants. He was in charge of making sure that everything went perfect tonight. Or, at least, he had put himself in charge. Since he was over the entertainment, or had been before the Enchantress had come, he decided that tonight would rest in his hands. Or, candlesticks.

"Are you sure you can handle this? The Master will not be pleased if something goes wrong." Cogsworth's deep, droning voice sounded from the doorway as he came in. The clock was always following Lumière around, like he was a attached to him with a leash or something.

Lumière rolled his eyes.

"Of course, Cogsworth. I have everything under control. Have I ever disappointed you before?" Lumière replied as he peered over a pot of gravy.

"Yes. Countless times. Let me see, where to start…" Came the clock's response.

"Well, he has never let me down," Plumette said as she swooped over to the bickering two. She glanced slyly over at Lumière, who grinned in return.

"You see, old friend, you are the only one here he is ever disappointed in me. Everyone else agrees with Plumette, no?" Lumière said.

"Well -"

Lumière cut Cogsworth off, turning around and saying, "No time for small talk, Cogsworth, we have work to do! Chop, chop!" Lumière, who had been striding up and down the counters, hopped down to the ground lightly. He walked past the flustered Cogsworth and out the door, heading towards the dining room. As he left, he heard Cogsworth ask Plumette, "Remind my why you like him again…"

Inside, enchanted objects were busy setting up the table, stringing strands of garland around the perimeter of the room, and even setting up a large Christmas tree. It was big, but not even comparable to the one Lumière was having placed in the Great Hall.

"Excellent work! Remember, everything must be done in -"

"Half an hour. And there still is lots to do. I am not sure that you can pull this off," Cogsworth appeared from behind Lumière, having followed him out of the kitchen.

Lumière groaned to himself before turning around to face Cogsworth.

"Listen, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this metaphor. A broken clock is right two times a day, mon ami, but today -"

"Is not one of those days, blah, blah, blah. Well, that may be your opinion, but it is not mine. I have a feeling in my gut that tells me something bad is going to happen."

"And my opinion, vieil ami, is that you no longer have a gut, so therefore, no feeling. Oui?"

"No, not oui. I'm telling you, the Master is not going to -"

"Pfft, the Master. Old beastie cannot tell the difference between bread and cheese. I have everything planned out, so nothing could possibly happen."

"But if something does? As head of the household, the Master will blame me."

"Yes, if something - big IF - happens, then I will make sure of it, don't you worry, old Coggy. But I have work to do, so au revoir!"

Cogsworth's face contorted into one of alarm and fear. "No, Lumière!" Cogsworth called as the candelabrum swiftly jogged away.

"Finally," Lumière muttered to himself. "I love the guy, but he can be overbearing."

He reached the staircase and hustled up them, his steps light and full of bounce. If Cogsworth didn't mess anything up, tonight would be a huge hit. Because who doesn't love a Christmas Eve feast? Especially one prepared by Lumière?

Hey, she loved the welcoming dinner, so she'll love this one. What could possibly go wrong? He thought as he stepped into Belle's room.

"Knock, knock! It is Lumière!" He said as he entered. "How is everything goin-"

He stopped as he saw Belle. "Garderobe, what happened?" He exclaimed as he saw the dress Belle was wearing.

It was scarlet-red, with a faint tint of purple. It was slim at the top, then fanned out as it hit the waist. The middle of the dress was white, making it look like an avalanche of snow in the middle of a red mountain. However, rips and tears and holes were scattered throughout the dress, and Belle was looking down at it in exasperation.

Lumière felt the same way, and he turned to the large blue wardrobe for an answer.

"Sultan got into it, and I think I may have a couple of moths left in my drawers," Garderobe explained, just as a few of the butterfly-like creatures fluttered out from inside the dresser.

Lumière looked to the left to see Sultan; the former terrier was curled up and whimpering in the corner.

"But do not worry, Lumière. I will have it fixed in no time," Garderobe tried to reassure Lumière. He was about to suggest Plumette, but since she now had wings, sewing would be impossible for her. Plumette, as a human, had been quite good at sewing and stitching if Lumière did say so himself, but she could be of no help now.

"All right, but hurry, ma chere madame. I will go and stall the Master. I will be back to check up on you soon, Belle. And whatever you do, do not let Cogsworth or the Master find out about this fiasco. Especially Cogsworth. Already he thinks I cannot pull this feast off," Lumière instructed before he headed out the door, shutting it closed behind him. Just in case the Master or Cogsworth walks by. I do not want them to see that as they go past. The candelabrum then made his way to the west wing, where the Beast was preparing for the dinner and the dance that would follow afterward.

Lumière stepped into the Beast's room and peered inside. As he was about to walk in, he was nearly stepped on by the Beast.

"Oh, excuse me, Lumière," Beast said as he quickly backed up to avoid stepping on the small candle man.

"Oh, no, c'est bon, Master." Lumière said with a wave of his candlestick hands. "I just…came to check up on you. I take it you are ready for tonight?" He looked up at the large prince, and saw that he was wearing the blue and gold outfit that he had worn on the night of his first dance with Belle. Lumière exclaimed loudly, "Why, Master, what are you wearing? You cannot wear that same suit twice!"

"But, I wore it a while ago. Why can't I wear it again? It would be waste to just wear it once and never use it again," Beast said in puzzlement.

"Yes, but years later, after she forgets about it! Whenever I took Plumette out for a date, I would always wear something new!" Lumière didn't really do this - he just rotated through the seven suits that he owned; but Plumette never noticed, and that was what made it seem like he had so many outfits. True, that it would not be so great to wear that same blue uniform, but Lumière also took it as an opportunity to stall the Beast.

"I paid you enough for that?" Beast's words broke into Lumière's thoughts.

"Eh…no, not really. But that is beside the point! Where is Chapeau?" He asked, looking around. One of the combs heard his question and zoomed downstairs, presumably to the kitchen to fetch the hat and coat rack.

"Now, let us fit you in something perfect for tonight! It must charming, stylish, and make you look confident! Come, come, back to the fitting room. By the time we are finished, Belle will be blown away by your elegance! Chapeau! Dépêchez-vous! Hurry up! We have lots of work to do!" Lumière called over his shoulder loudly as he bustled the Beast into his dressing room.

A few moments later, Chapeau came hurrying into the room. He looked at Lumière with a look stating, 'What? He looks fine to me.'

"No, he does not look fine," Lumière replied to his look. When he saw Chapeau's downtrodden and hurt face, he quickly added, "Yes, oui, he looks dashing, but he has already been that way before. Hair style - the same. Suit - the same. We need something more for the occasion, more…Christmas-y. Comprendre?"

Chapeau thought for a minute, then nodded before walking over to the beast and began to get to work.

Lumière hopped up onto stool nearby and watched the coat rack work. After disapproving of a few styles, Lumière finally found one that he liked.

"Magnifique! THAT is the one!" Lumière exclaimed. The beast was suited in a burgundy coat, with a black waistcoat underneath. Tan breeches covered three-fourths of his brown, furry legs. Around his neck was a black cravat, and his hair was pulled back into a low ponytail behind his head with a green tie. Matching green motifs decorated the coat around the shining golden buttons. Although he wore no shoes or stockings - since his feet and legs were too large to allow it - the Beast looked dapper and debonair.

The Beast admired himself in the mirror. "I guess I do look okay," he rumbled, trying to suppress a smile.

"Oh, nonsense! You look absolutely gallant!" Lumière gushed with a smile.

"Is Belle ready yet? Should I go escort her to the dining hall?"

Uh-oh. I had better go make sure everything is fixed. "I will go see if she is ready. You, Master, just wait right here. In your room. Don't move. I'll be back." With that, Lumière jumped down from the stool and ran off to Belle's room.

Breathless, he knocked quickly on the door before stepping in.

"Is everything fine yet?" He asked as he entered.

He looked up at Belle, and he felt relief and amazement come rushing into his brass stomach. Belle looked absolutely beautiful. Her dress was perfectly mended, and she twirled in a circle for him. Garderobe looked extremely pleased with herself as she watched Belle and Lumière.

"Do you like it?" Belle asked the candelabrum man.

"Oui, but it does not matter if I like it, but the Master. But I am positif that he will be blown away by your exquisiteness, ma chere mademoiselle! Now, come, come! The Master will be waiting for you!" As Belle followed Lumière out the door and to the stairs, he whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "And, uh, remember the deal that we had that Cogsworth not find out about the catastrophe?"

Belle laughed.

"Yes, of course. But, about that…" She trailed off and glanced down at him.

Lumière felt his heart drop slightly. "What happened?"

"He came in to check up on how things were going right after you left, and, well…you know."

"Yes. Cogsworth can never treat me like a grown man. Thinks I have the mentality of a mere child!"

Belle gave him an arch look that he ignored. When the reached the landing, he saw the Beast waiting there for them, Cogsworth standing nearby behind him. Lumière glared at him before looking up at Belle.

"M'lady, your gentleman," He said in a grandeur voice. Belle smiled at him, then turned to face the Beast. Her smile widened, and the Beast glanced at Lumière. Lumière smiled at him encouragingly, giving him a candle-sticks up (since he no longer had thumbs).

The Beast held out his arm, and Belle took it gently. Together, the two descended down the stairs.

Lumière whispered fiercely, "I'll talk to you later," to Cogsworth before jumping up onto the railing and sliding down it. He jogged ahead of the Beast and Belle and into the kitchen.

What he saw made his jaw and stomach drop.

The kitchen was a mess, as if a whirlwind had come through the castle. Chef Bouche was trying to frantically put out the fire on his stovetop. Soapy water was gushing out of the sink and flooding the cuisine, and multiple servants were trying to stop the water flow. Dishes lay strewn all over the kitchen, and the air was filled with smoke.

"Quel désastre! What is going on here?!" He exclaimed.

Chip was the first one to respond. He hopped over from where he was trying to help turn off the sinks.

"Hey, Lumière! You'll never believe what happened! The sink got clogged, and Chef is on fire!" The young teacup said with excitement in his voice, as if this was the most magnificent Christmas Eve that he had ever had.

Mrs. Potts and Plumette came over next, their faces strained and stressed.

"Oh, Lumière! It is such a catastrophe!" Plumette told him, her normally silky voice tensed and worried.

"You're telling me!" He muttered, looking around wildly at the chaos.

Plumette gave him a hurt look, and he blinked apologetically. "My apologies, mon coeur. I know it is not your fault." He wrapped an arm around the peacock feather duster and pulled her close.

"Mrs. Potts, what happened here exactly?" Lumière asked the old tea pot.

She began to explain. "Well, when Chapeau left, he left the water running, and a dishtowel or something must have gotten in the drain and clogged it. And no one can get the faucet to turn off. And then Chef Bouche was talking to Assiette, the dinner plate, and he got distracted and the gravy boiled over and caught fire."

"Not the sauce!"

"Aye, the sauce. And in the mess, everything just started to get more and more -"

"Chaotique?" Plumette tried.

"Catastrophique?" Lumière guessed.

"Calamiteux!" Chip shouted.

"Tragic," Mrs. Potts finished.

"Well, if this is the kitchen, how is the dining room?" Lumière asked them with a wrench of his gut.

Before any of them could respond, however, a loud roar gave Lumière the answer he needed.

"Oh, dear. I'll be back." Lumière said before dashing away. If the Master doesn't ring my neck.

He came into the dining room and looked around. It was as bad as the kitchen, if not worse. The Christmas tree had toppled over, and most of the ornaments had been shattered or broken. The garland strands were dangling limply from the ceiling and Sultan was barking and running rapidly back and forth across the table, causing food to go flying into the air.

"I told you you couldn't do it," Cogsworth said knowingly and almightily as he came up from behind Lumière, who ignored his snarky comment.

"I leave for twenty minutes, and you guys destroy the palace!" Lumière exclaimed indignantly and in frustration.

At the sound of his voice, the Beast rounded on the candelabrum.

"You were in charge of this?!" He growled, baring his sharp teeth.

"Who, moi? No, no, it was Cogsworth! He is head of the household, no? Talk to him about it," Lumière said, shoving the clock forward towards the Beast.

Cogsworth looked horrified as he stumbled towards the angry Beast.

"Wait, what? No, it wasn't me! It was him! He was in charge of this mess!" Cogsworth pointed at Lumière and staggered backwards, trying to put distance between both himself and Beast, as well as away from Lumière.

"Pfft, it was his idea for a dinner feast on Christmas Eve. Brilliant work, Cogsworth. However, being a romantic, of course the dance was my idea. I'll take the credit for that."

"Clean this up!" The Beast roared, and even Lumière had to flinch in fear.

"Beast, calm down!" Belle said, grabbing the Beast's arm and pulling his attention to herself. "They were just trying to do something nice for us. For you. Can't you be grateful that they did this without you asking? And for giving it a try?"

The Beast breathed heavily, fuming, for a good five more minutes. Nobody spoke or dared to breath, in case they inhaled too loudly and set the prince off on another rampage.

Finally, after a tense while, the Beast calmed down.

"All right. Fine. But I want this whole mess cleaned up by tomorrow! Understand?" The Beast growled at them.

Cogsworth - who had run over to Lumière and hidden behind the candelabrum during the Beast's fit - nodded frantically, as did Lumière.

"Yes, sir. On it right now, Master," Cogsworth told the Beast in a fearful voice.

Together, the two scurried towards the kitchen.

"Well, this didn't go as planned," Lumière said in between giving orders to the servants in the cuisine.

"No. But if somebody had listened to me, things might have turned out differently," Cogsworth said with a sniff.

Lumière rolled his eyes, but a small part of him felt a twinge of regret that he never took his friend's advice seriously.

However, the larger portion of him was sour that Cogsworth had been right about this.

"Remember that metaphor you always say? I guess this was one of those nights, eh?"

Lumière felt a prickle of irritation. He just can't let it go, can he? "Yes, well, one of the very, very, VERY, VERY -"

"Okay, okay, I get it. No need to stress it," Cogsworth interrupted, and Lumière felt satisfied that he had found a way to stop the nagging.

"Well, I still love you, even if it didn't go as planned," Plumette commented as she sailed over on white, elegant wings.

"Thank you, mon amour. And I will love you always and always as well," Lumière avowed, putting an arm around her svelte figure and drawing her close to him with a small smile.

"Ew, are you two going to KISS?!" Chip's young, loud voice came from behind them, and they both whipped their heads around to look at him.

"Chip! Mind your manners!" Mrs. Potts scolded her son.

"Oh, no, Mrs. Potts. It is all right. Sadly, Chip, non. I'm afraid that is impossible right now, seeing as how Plumette currently has a beak," Lumière explained.

"Oh? And what is wrong with my beak? Am I not as beautiful as I was before?" Plumette interjected with an injured voice.

"Bien sûr que non! Of course not, my love. You are just as alluring and flawless as you were as a human. In fact, I find your elegant beak very -"

"Okay, Chip, if you aren't going to help, it's best you get off to bed. You'll need to fall asleep quickly if you want Father Christmas to come, if you've been good this year." Mrs. Potts chimed, cutting off Lumière. As Chip hopped away towards the cupboards, she shot a look at Lumière and plumette, who were still holding each other close.

"And I would recommend the same for you two," she said sternly. "And you should really watch yourselves around the younger ones." With that, she followed after Chip, leaving behind a chortling Cogsworth, an embarrassed Plumette, and an unfazed Lumière.

"I suppose we should get to work," Plumette suggested after a moment of silence.

"Oui. Come, let us help in the dining room. And perhaps things will be better tomorrow. Christmas day! I have bing plans, and even bigger ones at work to make up for what happened today!" Lumière revealed. Behind him, Cogsworth moaned.

And Lumière couldn't help but grin.

Based on Disney's Beauty and the Beast live-action film.


End file.
